It was a promising set-up as well by the fledgling USARPS League; regional tournaments would be held in bars in cities scattered throughout the country and the winners would be flied to Las Vegas to compete for a $50,000 top prize.

This was mega money when it came to RPS. The entire prize pool at the world championships, sponsored and run by the World Rock Paper Scissors Society, was only $10,000 Canadian, $7,000 of which went to the winner.

But as is so often the case, more money did not mean higher quality.

After looking at the league’s website (www.usarps.com) it quickly became apparent that this was little more than a marketing ploy in support of Bud Light, an absolutely atrocious beverage not worthy of the beer label.

It was fairly clear what had happened: some marketing hack desperate for new ideas heard about the shenanigans happening every year in Canada, where people fly in literally from around the world to compete at Rock Paper Scissors, often while wearing absurd costumes or uniforms denoting team affiliation.

They then looked over the World RPS Society’s website (www.worldrps.com), ripped off and rewrote most of the content, put together a slick ad campaign (helmed by the traitorous Master Roshambolla, a former star of the RPS world who sold out) and threw together a flashy, made-for TV championship in Las Vegas.

(Full disclosure: I’m a card-carrying member of the World RPS Society and have been for about five years. I’m a Zone Commander in the Operations Ministry, although I’ve yet to learn just what the heck that means.)

Thoroughly disappointed, I wrote them off and paid little heed to the upstart league, even after they attempted to drum up publicity by talking smack about the more established World RPS Society.

But when word came through the grapevine earlier this month that Northern Eagle Beverages was hosting a regional tournament right here in Otsego County where folks could qualify for the second annual USARPS League Championships, I had to go.

I had to witness firsthand whether the league had any potential or was the complete and utter debacle its appearance implied.

I had missed the first few rounds held in bars around Oneonta and Sidney but was able to attend the second to last scheduled qualifying tournament on March 8.

Competitors had to finish first or second in these initial tournaments in order to qualify for the final round, scheduled for tonight at 8 p.m. in Christopher’s Lodge on Route 23.

For the World RPS Championships, I usually wear full battle regalia, complete with old-school prescription sports goggles, jumpsuit and headband.

Not wanting to tip my hand (har har), I settled for street clothes and showed up at The Sip N Sail hoping to pass as a typical college kid looking for a few drinks.

Unfortunately, space constraints make it necessary to cut things off here before I get into the tale of my sordid involvement with the USARPS league.

Suffice to say, I’ll be reporting back next week, hopefully with good news.

And hopefully about my plans for an all-expenses paid trip to Las Vegas for the 2007 championships.